Were All Going to Hell Today

Anyone know the expression "Go to Hell". Well, the thing is that there actually is a Hell- Hell, Norway. So when someone's telling you to go to Hell, they're actually telling you to go to Norway. So if you can, avoid using expressions like that for those in your life who take things you say literally.

Staring Through the Screen Into His Soul

Okay, my brother is an obsessive game player. Meaning, that he plays it so much, that sometimes I think he's going to get kidnapped by Dr. Lamb from Bioshock 2. Sometimes I even think that those fake, unrealistic characters know my brother better than I do. He was probably been brainwashed by Ganandorf when he was a kid, so now he's cursed to live in the virtual reality, imprisoned there to keep from excessively revealing the secrets of the game to random people. Good news though- he admitted he had a problem last week. He's taken the first step to breaking the curse.

Destruction of Diginity

In 1 week I'll be going to see my nana. Now I love her and all- but think she's trying to ruin me, because ,here's the thing- she wants me to wear a dress. I don't do dresses- not now, not in ten years, not EVER. Dresses are sissy applications created by the male sex to make women appear ensuperior. Sure, they'll sometimes make you look hotter- they probably also antagonize a lot more people, and lead to sexual assault.
So, to show my disgust for the indignities of this  tradition, I am now going to list four societal indignities that we all put up with in this age.

• Being on your cell phone at dinner- what, you can't put away your phone for five minutes to listen to your wife and kids.
• Man boobs- either hit the gym or cut the crap, we sure don't your guy boobs hanging out.
• People using the word "Jew" , as an insult to others- this isn't WWII people, and not everyone out there is a Hitler fanatics. If you are, get help, cause your in love with serial killing psychopath.( This subject can also be carried on for the persecution of gays, African Americans, etc.)
• And finally, cheating on your spouses, fiances, and dates- if they're abusive bastards, sure, go ahead. Otherwise, suck it up people. They can say " Screw it, their goat dung" just like you can.

Enjoy!

The Iowan Quaker Convention

For the past week, I've been off touring colleges with my brother and grandparents. The most notable part of our trip was when we went to Iowa. In Iowa there is a very pretentious and expensive college called Grinell, which is where we were touring. Originally, that part of the trip was so strange, because since there was so much corn, he decided to start calling Iowa corn, and the corn, Iowa. However, the most memorable part of the WHOLE trip, was when we went on our tour of Grinell.
You see, the thing is, while we were there, the college was hosting a Quaker Convention. Interesting, isn't it. Anyway, we had entered the commons, and while our guide was explaining the club options, I noticed this person behind him walking. They had shoulder length black hair, and were wearing a dress, which would have been find and all, if they had been a girl. Long story short, the Quakers are very accepting people and we should all take a good example from them.

Oh to the Video Games

So here's the thing- my brother's a hypocrite. No not just a hypocrite. THE hypocrite of the friggin century. You see, my brother won't allow me to M rated games until I reach a certain age- an age he says that he started playing these games at. Funny thing is, I ALREADY REACHED THAT AGE. Isn't he sweet darlings. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't know that even though he says I can't watch him play the games to prevent me from seeing "violent images", I can find everything I want on the internet. Idiot. Gotta hand it to him, he really didn't think this one through.